Yes, I'm Moving to China!

I'm a bit puzzled as to why so many of you are so concerned about my husband moving to China.
He's from China, remember?
Haven't any of your husbands packed up and moved to their places of origin?

I hope I didn't give you the impression that he left me and the kids for good. He would NEVER do that; not while I'm holding the buy-eleven-Cafe-Rio-entrees-get-the-twelfth-one-free card. We've already bought the first ten but we're waiting to buy the eleventh and get our freebie for our 50th wedding anniversary. As long as I have that card nothing can come between us. He'd die before he'd waste a free meal.

Anyway, he has been wanting to move back to China for a long time now, but we have stayed here because I have a huge crush on garbage disposals, dishwashers and the freedom to blog. So we've stayed in America; he getting up early ever morning and going to work, and I staying home with the kids and flirting with my crushes; life was good... for me. He, on the other hand, was continually stressed and worried. He was working at a job that was great for the present, but didn't have much of a future; no ladder to climb. He kept telling me that if we lived in China he could find a much better job where we could actually save money! I kept telling him life was fine how it was; I could keep living like this forever. So what if I didn't have insurance; I'd just be extra careful when feeding stray wolves and playing with my garbage disposal. And who really needs to own a home anyway? Renters don't have to unclog their own toilets. So just calm down, honey and go to work. The kids are Asian, they'll get all the scholarships they need.

But one day while I was putting my kids' pictures on glass jars and writing "pwees feed me" on them and then asking grocery store owners if I could place the jars at the check-out counters, I realized that I'm kind of a selfish person. My husband was in a foreign country, speaking a foreign language and trying to understand this foreign culture; all while trying to support his family. If I expected him to be the one to earn the living then maybe he should be the one to decide where that living was lived. So I called him up at work and said lets go!

So he left to get things ready for our arrival, but now that he's been there for a couple weeks, and has seen his beloved country through the eyes of an American, he's realized it's not the perfect wonderland he remembered it as. Now that he has the good old United States of Awesomeness to compare it to, he's having second thoughts on weather or not to raise his family there. But that would mean the kids and I living here while he travels back and forth every few months. Which would be sweet if I couldn't stand this guy and only wanted to see him every couple months. But I can stand him, that's the problem. And I don't want him to always be flying back and forth over the Pacific Ocean; if they'd hurry and finish the under-water tunnel I read about then maybe I wouldn't mind so much, but air travel really freaks me out. Men weren't meant to fly; they were meant to tunnel and scooter. So, it's off to China we go, but not until next month. So I have time to perfect my squatting position; I'm getting really good at it, I've been squatting the entire time I've been typing this, and have only fallen over maybe 58 times.

Sorry I still haven't had the chance to make it over to all of your blogs. I share this computer with my three little brothers and my parents. So I've had to learn how to share. They're behind me right now, just waiting for their turn and wondering why I'm squatting. But once I move out I'll be sure to catch up on all of your blogs.
Thank you all for your thoughtful comments and emails.
I love you!
Really.

So Much Has Happened

I'll just start where I left off.

My last post was around Thanksgiving. I'm so sorry I ruined all of your dinners. I know you were going to say you were thankful for having me in your blife when it was your turn to give the thankful-for speech, and instead you had to say something lame like family or butterflies. Sorry.

Anyway, while you were making a fool of yourself I was visiting my family in Southern Utah, and watching that movie Twilight!

I only have one thing to say about it:

My heart totally belongs to EdWaRd...

Scissorhands!

Well maybe I have a few more things to say about it, like "ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!" or "What the?!"

I give Twilight a chuckle and a snort and 2 head shakes of disappointment.

After Thanksgiving came a lot of Rock Band and Diner Dash. I always thought the highest score you could get on Rock Band was five stars but one cold afternoon while the kids were monopoling the walls (they get monopoly money wet and stick it to the walls; it's beautiful!) I learned the truth. If you are on the expert level and doing a perfect performance those five stars will turn GOLD! The day it happened to me was the happiest day of my life! Sorry day my kids were born, but labor stings real bad.

December brought a couple birthdays.

Meici turned two! I love you, Meici! Even though I don't dress you like I do!

I also had a birthday; I turned 25! I haven't rented a car yet, but soon... soon.

We also celebrated Jesus' birthday, AKA Christmas.

I had a great Christmas. My husband is definitely getting better at this whole gift giving tradition. He grew up in a small town in China where Santa didn't visit and birthdays were forgotten. The very first time he ever opened a present was on his 21st birthday, and it was from me. (It was two pairs of boxing gloves so we could box, and this year I got him a nerf gun set so we could nerf; what's wrong with me?) And you remember the story of his first birthday cake when he turned 12; it was a wedding cake with a bride and groom on top that he thought were action figures; poor kid. Anyway, the first two Christmases we spent together weren't celebrated at all because we lived in China and most of the people in China don't know about Jesus and wisemen and shepherds and angels and Mary and Joseph and stars and gingerbread. So I was so excited for our first American Christmas; I decorated the house, made some stockings, trimmed the tree and bought a bunch of gifts. Christmas morning came and we all opened our presents, well I should say they all opened their presents; I didn't get anything, ANYTHING! He didn't get me ANYTHING!

The next Christmas was a teeny tiny bit better, he got me a machine that melts the cheese in my sandwiches.

That's all.

I got him a playstation 3.
Yeah.

I was kind of used to spending my Christmases crying tears of greed. I remember one year when I was a kid all I asked for was a trash can with a lid that opens when you step on the pedal. That's all I wanted, A TRASH CAN! I was an awesome kid. Anyway, Christmas morning came and there under the tree was my trash can, my lidless foot pedalless trash can.

Life stinks!

So this Christmas I was expecting a pillowcase or maybe a big box of TIDE, so imagine my surprise when I opened a brand new something special!

Thank you sweetums; I really loved it, even though I returned it.

That pretty much brings you all up to speed. Oh wait there's one more thing. The kids and I moved in with my parents because Z quit his job and moved to China.